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Truly Grateful

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The shrill beeping of the smoke detector waited patiently for me to change its battery.  Even with its new battery it beeped on.  The detector needed to be tested with its new battery before it ceased its sharp yelps.

But that’s like my life –  I’m exhausted.  Hanging on with just enough for the acknowledgement that I’m straining.

false tiles

pool water by light

It is hard to be thankful in times of trials and suffering.  It is difficult to be able to discern UP in the time of a chaotic spiral down.  What do you say to the cracks in your heart that are leaking life and denying hope?  How do you fight the constant doubting?  The bitterness that you’re afraid to let loose?  How do you combat the exhaustion when there’s no time to rest? It’s probably found in the moment you stop asking questions, that sweet surrender to acknowledging that you don’t have all the answers, and start cleaving to the one who gave it all.  Sometimes we just forget that we are beautiful creations.  Sometimes we forget that we are loved by the Lion and the Lamb.

“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait?  My hope is in you. Deliver me from all my transgressions.  Do not make me the scorn of the fool! I am mute; I do not open my mouth,  for it is you who have done it. Remove your stroke from me; I am spent by the hostility of your hand. When you discipline a man with rebukes for sin, you consume like a moth what is dear to him; surely all mankind is a mere breath!  Selah “Hear my prayer, O Lord, and give ear to my cry; hold not your peace at my tears! For I am a sojourner with you, a guest, like all my fathers. Look away from me, that I may smile again, before I depart and am no more!” (Psalm 39:7-13)

Sometimes we have to crack into the Truth to fight the devil’s advances to conquer our distressed hearts; slave over ancient words and nibble at the edges of prophecy to leave room for the Spirit to invade and lift us – to reveal to us.

From a contempt heart to a content heart.


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